Imagine if you will, a parking lot so full of cars — parked erratically and in every conceivable spot at various angles — that when a place becomes available, getting your car into it is more dangerous than fighting three heavyweight boxers for the last seat in musical chairs… Imagine the Village Tavern & Grill.
Friday Fish Fry
Imagine if you will, an entryway so crowded with people it is like swimming upstream against disgruntled fans leaving a Cubs game after a rout — all elbows and…
Now imagine AC/DC blaring over the sound system (all the tunes in the player to the right, by the way, were part of the barrage that Friday in question) and drowning out any possible chance for normal conversation, tiny babies left in their carriers on the floor, just waiting to be trampled… and literally hundreds of pounds of Atlantic cod slathered in thick batter and deep-fried for the many hundreds of hungry patrons.
If you can imagine those things (and a few more), you can perhaps imagine a Friday night fish fry in Illinois… at a place called Village Tavern and Grill in Carol Stream.
Looking For a Truly Exemplary Friday Night Fish Fry
Most of you already know that I really have a great dislike for going out to eat on Friday or Saturday nights. You also already know that I have been unable — to this point — to find a truly exemplary Friday night fish fry anywhere south of that imaginary line that separates Illinois from Wisconsin. But I keep looking (and dealing with weekend crowds), and I keep getting suggestions (Village Tavern was one such suggestion) from readers of my reviews and others to try this place or that. Judging by the number of cars and people we witnessed a couple of weeks ago, I thought that perhaps I may have found the venue — and the gold — for which I had been searching. But alas, it was merely Iron Pyrite instead of the real thing, and I’ll explain why.
We were told that the wait would be “about 30-35 minutes”, which I did not consider to be extreme — if it was accurate — especially given the mass of humanity through which we had to wade just to get to the bar area. But the Restaurant Gods must have been smiling on us, because at just that moment, two folks who had been occupying a tall bar table right behind us had paid their tab and were vacating their coveted spot. We took advantage of our good fortune and had a seat. That’s where things took a turn to the south on a deserted country road.
Immediately Adjacent to an Exit
The only wine available was Barefoot. I’m definitely not a wine aficionado, but I can tell you that it’s not the most palatable wine around, and a whole bottle can be purchased at Target for about $6; the glass of Chardonnay that Lauren reluctantly ordered was $6… you do the math. The table was obviously not meant to be a dining table — there were no place mats or anything else that would give one reason to believe that dining was available or possible here, but a waitress came by and said that we could have dinner at the table if we wanted. We were quite hungry and said “sure, why not?”
That’s the point at which we discovered the table was immediately adjacent to an exit, and also the point at which the first patron unlocked the locked door and exited the restaurant. And although there was a large sign on the door that stated “This Door Locked During the Winter Months – Please Do Not Exit“, most people just unlocked the door and exited anyway, letting in the nice, fresh, c-c-c-cold air from outside. This continued to happen about every 3-4 minutes while we were there.
Some Positive Notes…
Salad or soup came with dinner; we chose salad. Lauren asked for creamy garlic and I asked for bleu cheese. Both dressings were watery and without much flavor. It was difficult to tell which was which, but upon locating a single piece of cheese approximately the size of a small pea, I figured I must have received the right salad.
There are some positive notes here. The fish fry was an all-you-can-eat dinner that came with soup or salad, fries and — “upon request” — coleslaw, all for a pretty decent price of ($9.95). I assume that the price is likely what attracted the hoard of diners from a five-county radius. Our dinners were served hot and the waitress, although busier than a one-armed paper hanger, was smiling and fairly attentive.
The fish itself was tasty, but unfortunately it was buried deep inside a way-too-thick coat of pancake batter that would only absorb too much oil from the fryer. The tartar sauce had no relish and little flavor, and it was made from the same stuff as the salad dressing — in fact, it could have been the salad dressing…
Chaotic and Cacophonous
It took several days to let the entire experience sink in while I tried to determine whether or not it was just my mood on that that particular evening. My conclusion is that my mood had nothing to do with my feelings about our experience. Village Tavern and Grill was chaotic and cacophonous and not at all a candidate for a good fry.
The rest of the menu included some catchy titles, like the “Breast Above the Rest” (chicken sandwich), “Who Cut the Cheese Burger” (pretty self-explanatory but not an especially good name for a menu item in a restaurant) and Slider Six Pack (six mini grilled burgers) and other interesting choices. But since the fish fry fell short of impressive, I am not exited to give any other item a chance either — especially if I have to bring armed guards to keep me safe while I attempt to park my car.
Village Tavern and Grill is deserving of every Zin they get… all Two-and-a-Half of ’em.
Your Table is Waiting…
Ralph Pancetta
Village Tavern & Grill is located at 291 S Schmale Road in Carol Stream, IL.
